#im gay and in love with them yall should simply join me here

[maybemountains]

Nova & Thalia Headcanons

hello everyone and welcome back to a new episode of “Buttercup is a Yearning Sapphic with far too many thoughts about One (1) sapphic ship in a D&D Show and they’ve decided to make it everyone else’s problem!”, this time with Nova & Thalia from Aerois! (no cut bc i dont understand how tumblr works (sorry) and everything is being pasted straight from our dms bc i cba to rewrite or reformat this)

(special thanks to aestivalor from the HR discord for getting just absolutely spammed with all of my thoughts in DMs & the occasional very good additions)

a modern setting AU but it's specifically for the sake of like. nova and thalia lying next to each other on the roof of a car, and you have nova pointing out different stars in the night sky they see and like, thalia knows all of this already, but she loves her beloved nerd so she's content to just listen to nova ramble

ALTERNATIVELY, au where they're watching the stars together and you get the trope of "arent they just beautiful" (nova, abt the stars), "yeah," (thalia, lovingly, looking at Nova) [or vice versa, i could imagine either of them in either position]

now, please also consider, nova and thalia slow dancing together, again under the stars bc im gay and love the stars but frankly it could be anywhere bc i think the importance is mostly on the way they're look at each other, how close they are

but specifically, i like the concept of thalia, being a princess, knowing how to slow dance really well and nova not really knowing and being worried abt stepping on thalia's toes but maybe they're in the grass, maybe it's a late night and they were watching the stars and maybe it's just a peaceful summer day, regardless, thalia asks nova if she wants to dance and nova's willing to say less and they're just quietly slow dancing together, barefoot in the grass. there may not be music playing but that's okay bc their laughter is all they really need and thalia's softly guiding nova as they go and maybe nova steps on her toes occasionally but thats okay bc she's learning and eventually they're just dancing and twirling together to no music but the sound of their laughter and their soft contentment

 ALTERNATIVELY, bc i am a sapphic and its my biggest fuckin dream, au where nova and thalia are dancing together at a masquerade ball and they're both dressed to the nines and have the nicest fuckin masks and maybe they play up the fact that they're "not supposed to know each other's identities" and its a little bit for show but it's just fun and they're having fun and lbr they're both being gay as shit beneath those masks

it is personally very important to me when queer people do the little pinkie hook hand hold thing bc its just. its such a small and lowkey thing but like. it's so important to me. and i just like to imagine nova and thalia on their own in a moment and just kind of like. hooking pinkies. maybe they wanna hold hands but its too hot to do that comfortably or maybe they just wish to anchor themselves onto one another without it being too much contact and they're just hooking pinkies but it's also that thing of like. when someone strays too far to the side when your holding hands and you kinda pull them back on course or its like, lifting your hands over slight obstacles so you don't have to stop holding hands and stuff like that but with them and their linked pinkies

okay so i dunno if this all applies in canon so if it doesn't just imagine some slight canon divergent settings BUT

nova and thalia having the gay moments of tucking a flower into the other's hair/behind their ear 

the tenderness of brushing someone's hair away from their face for them 

sharing music. yes this probably only works in a modern AU BUT, please imagine nova or thalia offering the other an earbud as they're shading a phone from sunlight so they can watch a video/listen to music/smth along those lines 

i offer as well, the gay panic of before your dating someone but accidentally brushing your hands together and not knowing if you can hold their hand or not 

this one's extremely self indulgent and modern AU-y as well but like, the experience of like being in a cafe or out with someone during like the day and maybe it's golden hour, maybe it's just the sun setting, but it's the way the sun hits their eyes or maybe it's golden hour light and that mixed in with everything and the way they're smiling/laughing in that moment and you're just fucking gone bc in that moment they're brighter than the sun itself

Now this next one requires some more context. But, my lockscreen right now on my phone is franmaya (from ace attorney) fanart of Maya holding Franziska’s hand and pulling her along through a park very excitedly pointing at something. Now, please imagine this with Nova & Thalia

specifically, in an aquarium or some shit and nova's dragging thalia around and pointing at all the neat things

aestivalor: or like a natural history museum or science museum dragging her around to look at the cool rocks or meteorites or explain the exhibit to her instead of reading the info things,,,,,,,,,,,,

aestivalor: Thalia getting her own personal expert guided tour courtesy of Big Fucking Nerd

but also i think it would be really funny if there's this like, thing of thalia both trying to take in all the information bc thalia is a nerd too, lbr, but also bc it's where nova's from and it's important to nova so it's important to thalia VS the fact that thalia is. deeply gay and in love with nova and she keeps getting distracted by just how cute nova is when she's excited

aestivalor: YES omg the constant internal battle of “shes so cute when she’s all excited like this she’s so pretty and smart I love her so much wAIT LISTEN TO HER THEN DUMBASS SHES TALKING TO YOU”

(also in my heart of hearts, nova when she's excited talks a lot with her hands / she bounces and paces around and is very like hand flappy or generally has like these little happy stims and it's the cutest thing and thalia loves it sm)

other soft nova & thalia thoughts but not necessarily just ship thoughts include little things like

nova fiddles with the ends of her scarf when she's nervous (i suppose, now, it's aila's tartan bc i think she added it to the end of her scarf?), but i like the concept that if she ever ended up with smth from thalia that's like, a ring or a bracelet or a necklace, that that would also end up in the rotation as like. smth she messes with. like if it's like a pendant on a chain type necklace she'll move the pendant up and down the chain or if its a ring/bracelet it's just her twisting it where it is but i just like the idea of nova being nervous and using like, these things that were given to her by her family as a way to ground / calm herself

(I was then reminded that nova has a charm bracelet with thalia’s family crest on it so Imagine That for this specifically)

(also please imagine thalia doing the same with anything she'd be given from nova or her other loved ones)

nova and thalia being nervous/afraid and doing that thing where you squeeze your partner's hand in reassurance

SIMILARLY, nova &/or thalia listening to music while they're out an abt and maybe they're holding hands and maybe thalia's tapping along to the music on nova's hand and it's such a small thing and maybe thalia doesn't fully realize it but nova doesn't mind it and thinks its kinda charming so she lets it happen

ALSO. going back to the dancing thing real quick. personally bc im someone who loves street performers like so fuckin much, i like the concept of like, that being a thing on aerois right, and perhaps its the party's day off or smth and so you have nova and thalia walking around town or smth and they pause to listen to like. some performer who's playing violin or smth right, and consider, perhaps, thalia asking nova then and there if she could have that dance and the two of them dancing along to this random performer's music bc maybe it's silly but it's fun (bonus points if the song that’s being played is kingdom dance bc god those are the perfect vibes)

okay that’s all i’ve got for yall tonight, but tldr: nova & thalia my Beloveds!

[creampievampire]

Could you go into the difference between the subtext and queerbaiting in it, I'm still kind of -well it's obviously gay but nothing was really ever said or shown that says that expect for people talking about it- Like are the characters and their relationship just queer-coded (positivly ofc lol) but the baitiness comes from them sort of confirming it off the show?

of course! im assuming by ‘it’ you mean merlin, but rather than explaining the reasons why i think bbc merlin is a matter of subtext (or queer coding) and not queerbaiting, i think it would be easier and more productive to explain the difference between the two in general. they are very similar - which is why i think a lot of people are unable to tell the difference between them - but they have important differences

just a warning, this is going to be a LONG post lmao ive bolded exactly what each term means below, after which i go into more detail on the whole issue. this is something im passionate about so,,, ♥

queerbaiting specifically refers to a marketing technique in which creators hint at but dont actually depict a queer character or relationship. They do this in order to attract a queer audience with the suggestion of a character or relationship they can relate to, while also avoiding alienating their queerphobic audiences

queer coding is the subtextual coding of a character as queer through the use of things like metaphor, allegory, hinting, recognisable traits/stereotypes/experiences, etc. This is done to build believable characters and create more complex plot lines, and it is also regularly used by people who want to tell queer stories but are unable to do so explicitly. it CAN be used negatively to enforce damaging stereotypes, but that is just a small part of its usage

both of these things utilise subtext in order to work. subtext is not only a crucial part of the creation of any piece of media, but is impossible to avoid.

an example of the most basic types of subtext is when a character tells someone that everything is going to be okay, but you can tell they dont believe it. or when youre watching a story unfold and you suddenly connect the dots and realise whats going to happen before its explicitly stated - you used subtext and the hidden meanings and hints to figure it out!

the people involved w a piece of media create their story with a specific purpose or meaning in mind, and they construct the subtext of the story to reflect that purpose/meaning. HOWEVER, the viewers dont always see things the same!

your experiences and personality shape the way you view and interpret every piece of media you consume. if you hate cops youll see the insidious undertones in cop shows - if you grew up with an abusive parent youll see the biting implications in a characters dialogue that others find innocent - if youre queer you will search for and fine queer characters everywhere, regardless of the creators intentions

now, both queerbaiting and queer coding use subtext to function, right? so how do you know which is being used and whether or not its a bad thing? its all about intention

to give a specific explanation of the difference im going to use two examples that are (arguably) very similar in the way their queer characters became canon

example 1: adventure time featured the characters marceline and princess bubblegum, who have been forever depicted as a couple in fan content. their interactions in the show were read into and latched onto bc we saw ourselves in them and we saw it as positive queer rep. but their relationship was never explicitly discussed during the course of the show and was only confirmed at the end of the final episode.

that makes 10 seasons in which their relationship existed only in subtext, and when it did finally exist in canon it was only for a few minutes, if that.

example 2: supernatural featured the characters dean and castiel (lol) who have been depicted as a queer couple pretty much since the first episode cas appeared in. i personally hung on their every interaction, analysed every glance between them, bc i interpreted deans character as a parallel to my own childhood trauma.

cas joined the show in season 4, so that makes 11 seasons in which him being gay existed only in subtext, and when it was confirmed he was immediately cut out of the show. the exact nature of dean and castiels relationship still remains in subtext.

so why is it that adventure time is widely considered perfectly fine but supernatural is dunked on as being the poster boy for queerbaiting?

its bc adventure time involved queer creators and was an earnest representation of queer characters, but they were boxed in by their publisher, Cartoon Network and thus the only way for the relationship to exist in the show was through subtext.

supernatural, however, consistently neglected their queer character and employed transparent tropes and stereotypes - bringing him in just sparingly enough to keep queer audiences interested while never being gay enough to alienate their macho manly man queerphobe audiences. they would have dean and cas stare into each other eyes for a full 30 seconds and then almost immediately follow it up with an episode about dean banging a disposable female character.

so imho adventure time falls under queer subtext, and supernatural falls under queerbaiting

when it comes to a show like bbc merlin i see a lot of debate about whether or not its queer coding or queerbaiting, and my intention is not to convince you of either. merlin was very much a product of its time, and i have argued the same about seasons 4-6 of supernatural as well, before the queerbaiting escalated and became exhausting to me

the purpose of this post is to start giving you the information you need to analyse any piece of media and come to your OWN opinion as to whether or not its queerbaiting or whatever else

people will ALWAYS have differing opinions about this shit yall. i have debated so many times w so many people about where the line is and whats okay and what should be ‘cancelled’ and if consuming something deemed problematic makes you a bad person or not

and my conclusion?

if youre capable of acknowledging the flaws and issues w a piece of media without trying to defend it as a shining beacon of purity simply bc you like it, then you do you. enjoy whatever you want to enjoy - if i think its reprehensible i simply will never interact with you lol

at some point everyone has to stop regurgitating these generic woke speak cancel culture speeches and buzzwords and formulate their own opinions

my advice to anyone reading this is to learn how to do close reading (ill provide a link to a wonderful short guide on it in a reblog bc tumblr hates links) and start really considering where you draw the lines with all types of content. decide for yourself whether merlin or supernatural or adventure time crosses the line into content you cant stomach, but respect other people whose interpretations differ from yours

i know a HUGE amount of people think supernaturals confession scene was homophobic and toxic - a slap in the face - but when i watched it i saw myself reflected in dean. a repressed bisexual whose emotions had been stunted by lifelong trauma, who wasnt ready to face his feelings for cas but quickly realising that his chronic avoidance and fear was about to tear them apart possibly forever. to me it was tragic and beautiful, and i loved it

i also think merlin is a tragic and beautiful love story, and to me its a pivotal piece of queer media that changed the way i viewed love and made me believe that it was a possibility for me bc i related so deeply to arthur

i hope that you can draw a satisfying answer from this, anon, and i apologise for this post being a full essay lol but i believe it needed to be said  - i dont think there is a right or wrong answer here

[hobgayblin]

Oh well I meant mostly fo related because of the blogs theme but you can join in with anything else. For example I cannot stand most Jhin pairs specially the straight ones

YEAH. YEAH MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY. every ship thats jhin/a woman is a bad ship actually. while I’m not smart enough to say if he’s explicitly coded or not he reads as SO SO gay from him mannerisms and how he talks in my professional homosexual opinion. Even if I wasnt in love w/ him I still think he reads as gay tbqh

Plus the basis for every jhin/woman ship I’ve seen is SO boring. like w/ s*na its bc of that one throwaway line she has abt the autographs which is supposed to be HaHa Funny Joke About Jhin and 4, and also bc he has lines abt her and stuff but he also VERY explicitly wants to kill her so I’m... :/ w/ j*nx its bc theyre both batshit insane (in different and very conflicting ways). also jhin is a lot older than her which isnt like a problem, bc shes an adult, but I’m still like.... :/ this man is almost 40 and very mature hes NOT gonna be interested in an annoying 21 year old. and w/ n*mi its because..............???????? idk i think shes a good support for him but otherwise i have NO idea where that one came from but its SO popular.

I honestly don’t like any of the m/m ships with jhin either. I don’t rly mind any of them except jhin/k*yn which I don’t like. jhin/z*d im fine with seeing but also their backstories are both about them actively trying to kill each other so its not like. great. but they also have the most basis for a ship so i understand why ppl ship them. I’ve also seen some jhin/thresh which I THINK comes from their rivalry w/ the dark cosmic skins and thats the only one I’m like. ok cool nice thats neat. two awful men I love together. I don’t hate it but i still dont particularly ship it

god I rly spent 3 paragraphs on jhin huh. anyway heres a sparknotes of my thoughts w/ my other boys:

Every Sylas ship I’ve seen sucks except Sylas/S*tt which is like. out of nowhere and while I hate shipping men just bc theyre both conventionally attractive.... I just think theyre neat :) Sylas/L*x is the bane of my existence tho and I could go on forever abt why I hate it but this post is already gonna be long as hell sdghfkds

I haven’t seen a lot of Thresh ships aside from thresh/l*cian(and/or s*nna) and thresh/k*lista both of which I hate. I HAVE seen thresh/k*rthus and thresh/h*carim (or all 3 of them together) and I ADORE that shit whether its ship or not its so good honestly. death husbands ! w8 also I forgot abt thresh/ahr* which I also fucking hate fuck you spirit blossom for making that a thing

Pyke ships are almost NONEXISTANT from what I’ve seen which is both good for me and >:/ why arent yall shipping him w/ people hes sexy. except from maybe pyke/ill*oi which I love them being friends but I dont like the ship simply bc that giant woman belongs to the lesbians. TBF theres not a lot of people To ship him with tho except like. g*ngplank and MF but they’re absolutely on his Hit List and also MF isnt an option actually bc he only likes dude ass :/ MAYBE could throw him into the Graves/TF mix but Idk how well that would work out.... WOULD be sexy tho. 3 husbands in one :) WAIT HOLD ON I LIED I FORGOT ABT PYKE/N*UTILUS I LOVE THAT SHIP SO MUCH. scary revenants in love :)

Luckily for me 90% of the TF/Graves ship stuff is between them which obviously I love..... I love seein my two boys in love they rly should just be a canon couple already riot come on. Other ships I’ve seen include: TF/Y*suo for some reason but honestly its cute ! I like it :) sometimes graves is also thrown in there which is good too. Also TF/Ev*lynn which I DESPISE bc it just came out of their tango skins. smh its not romantic tango its gay/lesbian solidarity. Graves I never see shipped w/ anyone but TF unless its like. porn gsfghhkkskd

Also he’s not a real f/o but I’ve seen so much draven/darius it makes me wanna vomit <3 anyone that ships that needs help yall are fucking nasty and I hate you personally

TL;DR: I hate most canon/canon ships with my f/os aside from like. a couple sgdfghhksdf

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

[roman-reigns-princess]

Cat & Mouse (Roman Reigns): Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Read it on Wattpad Writing Masterlist

Warnings: idk, none really? Asshole!Roman(i guess?), p much smut free im sorry ): there’s one bit that gets a lil gay w/ Lyra and Naomi, that’s all I can think of tbh. I swear tho, next chapter we will get Roman/Lyra smut. RN they’s just gettin ready to go clubbing

Word Count: 1960

A/N: We finally get the Bloodline together, bless, but also i feel like i royally fucked their characters up so like please dont judge me too hard (but if you got any pointers or like corrections feel free to let me know).

Tag List (if anyone wants to be added, let me know): @m-a-t-91 @mrsamberlopezgoodanoai@simulated-heat @greatbreadwizard @hoodgirl163 @sabrina-the-champ @thiickreigns @alexahood21@ii-love-roman-reigns @queenreignsempire @flawlessglamazon @not-that-kinda-gurl08 @x-fivefoot  @finnbalorsdemonqueen @romanempirefics @rocketgirl2410 @sausagefest1996 @vebner37@macfizzle @cute-face-chubby-waist @wwefoever70 @horcruxhunter5972 @cool-snowball-22-blog​ @designrwriterchic @metaldeedsblobfish @inkedirishbbydoll-blog-blog (I got a nasty feelin that I didn’t @ someone, im sorry yall)

As she lay in her bed, she scrolled through her phone one last time to check what had interrupted them, only to find that it was a spam email. Muttering to herself in annoyance, she silenced her phone and set it down on the nightstand before pulling the covers up around her. If there was such a thing as angry sleep, that’s what she was going to be doing that night.

It was well past noon when Lyra finally stirred from her slumber; Roman had let her sleep in. Yawning, and stretching, she slowly got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash up.

She groaned to herself when she saw the little bruises that trailed across her neck, courtesy of Roman. Good thing the weather’s kinda chilly today, she thought to herself, there’s no way I can cover that up with makeup, I’ll have to use a scarf.

She took her time getting ready, pulling on a pair of black jeans and a white shirt that had a quote from Game of Thrones on it; that show was one of the many things Lyra and Roman bonded over, and the shirt was a Christmas gift from him.

She sent Naomi a text, asking her if she wanted to get lunch before heading over to the venue. While waiting for a reply, Lyra put on a little green eyeshadow, eyeliner, and some dark pink lipstick. She was wrapping a dark green scarf around her throat when Naomi finally replied.

Naomi: I’m down for some pizza, the boys will be coming along though. You mad enough to skip out on pizza or nah?

Lyra: I’ll be damned if I let HIM stop me from getting pizza 🙄

Naomi: That’s the spirit 😂 I’ll meet you in the lobby in 15? Bring your bags, might as well check out now

Lyra: 😂 Yeah sounds good, I’ll see you downstairs

Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she packed away all the things she’d used. Roman had already taken his stuff down, she assumed, earlier in the day. She pulled on her boots and did one last sweep of the room to make sure that neither her nor Roman left anything behind.

Lugging her bags along, she made her way down to the lobby to check out. She’d just finished up with the receptionist when Naomi and Jimmy walked in through the entrance. Lyra walked over, giving them both a hug before they started walking to the parking lot.

“G'morning, sleeping beauty,” Jimmy teased, earning a dirty look from her, and a jab in his ribs from Naomi. “Ow, baby, what was that for?”

“Leave my girl alone, you didn’t even get up today until I started-,” Lyra was chuckling as Jimmy stopped Naomi with a hand over her mouth. Naomi knocked his hand away, glaring up her mate.

“Baaabe, c'mon, don’t do me like that,” he grumbled as they arrived at the car.

“You’ll be lucky if I do you at all, tonight,” she joked, getting into the backseat; Lyra tried not to laugh when Jimmy gave his mate a slightly panicked look. Lyra shoved her bags into the back then joined her friend in the backseat as Jimmy started the car.

“Aren’t we waiting for Jey and Roman?” She questioned.

“Nah they’re already there, probably eating half the pizzas,” Jimmy replied as drove them out of the lot. ————————- They walked into the restaurant ten minutes later to find Roman and Jey sitting at a table, digging into a pizza each.

“Told ya they’d be gettin a head start on the pizzas,” Jimmy grumbled as he sat next to Roman, swiping a slice from his pizza, making the older Alpha growl. Jimmy simply rolled his eyes in response, and told his cousin to shove it.

Lyra decided to pretend that nothing happened the night before as she sat next to Jey, Naomi squeezing a chair in next to her. Roman eyed her for a moment, she could’ve sworn a slight smirk flashed across his face when his gaze landed on the scarf around her neck.

It took every ounce of her will power to not glare at him, she was still a little pissy about being sent to bed like a child.

“Chill out, we got more coming,” Jey informed them as he picked up another slice. He turned to Lyra with a little frown as she scooted closer to him to give Naomi more space; she gave him a weird look when he leaned in and took a deep breath.

“Can I help you, Jey?” She asked as he straightened up, his eyes flitting back and forth between her and Roman before a smug smile stretched across his face.

“So, y'all finally fucked, huh?” He stated, Roman promptly choked on his drink while Lyra felt her blood rush to her face as she gave Jey’s arm a punch. “C'mon, his scent’s all over you.”

“That’s not, w-we didn’t,” she scrambled to try and come up with something as Naomi and Jimmy stared at her with raised eyebrows. Roman was still coughing and wheezing in his corner.

“Then how’d you explain them hickies,”  Jey shot back, pulling her scarf down to reveal the bite shaped bruises that trailed down into her shirt. Lyra smacked his hand away and hurriedly readjusted her scarf while Naomi gave her an indignant look as if to say why the fuck didn’t you tell me.

“I-we-yknow what, Roman, why don’t you explain, you did this after all,” Lyra huffed, turning the attention across the table to the large Samoan still trying to catch his breath.

“Um, we was just fuckin around last night, nothing happened, it was nothing,” he replied, Lyra fixed him with a piercing glare, but he refused to look at her.

“Damn, is it just me or did it get colder in here,” Jey mumbled as everyone turned back to the food.

Lyra knew she shouldn’t care, it’s not like they were dating or anything, but she couldn’t help clenching her fist under the table as Naomi gave her knee a comforting pat. ———————- Days later, Lyra was still salty. She had successfully managed to ignore him for the past few days despite traveling with him and his family. Occasionally she’d catch him staring at her with a weird look on his face, but she pretended not to notice.

It irked her even more that he never actually tried to talk to her, and she certainly wasn’t going to confront him about him basically saying that their connection, relationship, whatever it was between them, meant nothing to him.

She figured that if he had cared enough he would’ve either apologized or at least tried to make up some bullshit excuse for what he’d said. Instead he seemed mostly content with being ignored, and ignoring her.

She knew she had to move on, why should she sacrifice her happiness and wait around for some idiot who wouldn’t even give her a chance. Besides, she had the perfect opportunity coming up.

They’d arrived in Pittsburgh earlier that day, the Royal Rumble was taking place the next day. Naturally, that meant that everyone would be going out that night.

Lyra knew it’d be the best time to find someone to keep her occupied or at least numb herself with alcohol; either way, she was determined to forget about Roman for a few hours and have a good time.

That, however, was easier said than done. Not only would Roman be accompanying her, Naomi, and the Usos for drinks, but when Lyra stepped out of the shower she began to feel feverish, her senses heightened even more than usual, to the point where she was hyper aware of anything touching her.

She grumbled to herself about it as she pulled on some black panties and a matching bra. Digging through her bag she chose to wear a pair of black jean shorts, and a tank top that had a pentagram design on it.

After she was dressed she downed two Advils, then walked over to join Naomi in front of the mirror to do her makeup. She decided to do brown smokey eyes, winged eyeliner, and finished it off with a bright red lipstick.

“Damn girl, you look real good,” Naomi said, running her eyes over her friend’s reflection as she applied some mascara.

“You look pretty irresistible yourself; planning on getting laid tonight?” Lyra replied with a suggestive smirk; Naomi was dressed in a tight red dress that showed off her gorgeous body, there was no way Jimmy was resisting that.

“You know it babe, not that I don’t love rooming with you, but it’s been two days since Jimmy and I did anything  and it’s got us all wound up,” she laughed. “But, damn, the way you look and smell tonight, I’m willing to bet you ain’t going to bed alone. What perfume are you using?”

“I’m not using any perfume, not yet anyways,” she replied, looking a little puzzled. “I’m feeling a little feverish, it could be that?”

“No, no, I’ve never smelled anything like it before, you smell really good,” Naomi mumbled, stepping closer to bury her face in Lyra’s hair and take a big sniff; Lyra blushed and shivered a little as that simple movement made her squeeze her thighs together. “I-oh no, oh girl, um you might not wanna go out tonight.”

“W-what, why?” She nearly whimpered as Naomi pulled away; what the hell is going on with me, she thought to herself.

“Um, I, uh, I think you’re going through your heat, or it’s just starting, I don’t know,” replied Naomi, Lydia’s blush deepened as her eyes grew wide. “But like it probably ain’t a good idea to be around a bunch of hotheaded Alphas and Betas.”

“B-but I thought heats were an omega thing, I’m not even a werewolf,” she protested, wrapping her arms around herself defensively, of course something like this would happen to her.

“I mean I’ve heard of shifters getting their heats too, I think it’s the only time they, you, can give off a mating scent or something; it usually starts in your teens or not at all though, didn’t your parents tell you about this stuff?” Naomi questioned, frowning at the younger girl who looked beyond flustered.

“No, my dad’s human, and my mum doesn’t really talk that kinda stuff with me, hell, she probably thought I wouldn’t even get my heat because I’m only half-shifter,” Lyra said, groaning internally as her friend gave her a sympathetic look; she knew she should stay in, but she also really wanted to get drunk off her ass at that moment. “Yknow what, fuck it, Ima still go, all this does is makes me wanna get even more drunk.”

“Bitch, NO, I can’t let you do that,” Naomi insisted, crossing her arms when Lyra pouted and tried giving her puppy dog eyes. “Don’t do that, I can’t, with a clear conscience, let you go.”

“Buuuuuuut I’ll be with you guys, besides what’s stopping me from going out on my own? I’ll be much safer with you there to keep an eye on me,” Lyra begged. Naomi groaned and rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine, I guess that’s some good points,” she sighed exasperatedly as Lyra gave her a big smile. “But you’re going to wear one of my jackets, hopefully that’ll mask you scent a little.”

“Yes, mom,” Lyra replied, walking over to Naomi’s bags as the older girl rolled her eyes, and turned back to the mirror to finish up her makeup. Lyra went through her stuff until she found a black leather jacket that she had been meaning to borrow.

Once they were done, they grabbed their phones, and hid their credit cards, IDs, and keycards in their bras before pulling on some shoes. Naomi wore a pair of tall, black pumps that made her ass look even better than Lyra thought possible, and Lyra wore a pair of black high heeled, thigh high boots.

Finally around 9pm, they headed out of the hotel to meet the men in a club a couple blocks away.

[latenightbotanist]

I have feelings about the ode to joy and im going to dump them on you

At the time i am writing this part i have suffered through twenty two (22) hours of “ode to joy” repeated in my brains so you are gonna suffer with me now. Srsly, ask @madgronkish i kinda lost it around noon.. Anyways. First thought when i heard it was literally" theyre not going to fucking reunite them to THAT SONG??!?!“ Whilst i was wrong about sherlock driving the car…they still did that. Thanks mofftiss.

Ok now down to business. First off, DISCLAIMER, i am in no way qualified to do this? I dont know much about music and have like half an experience at writing meta? so..sorry in advance, maybe just look at this as inspiration and well..gay feelings bc i have enough of those to go around rn.

I will also tag some lovely people who actually know how to do this whole meta thing, and who knows, maybe one of you actually reads this mess and makes somethin out of it? Possibly? Idk, i dont blame you if you dont, really. @quietlyprim @loudest-subtext-in-tv @joolabee @hudders-and-hiddles @love-in-mind-palace @teapotsubtext @beejohnlocked @kinklock @marcelock @gaytectives @ormondsacker @culverton

So.. for all of you who dont know, ode to joy (originally “freude, schöner götterfunken”) is part of beethoven’s 9th symphony, it is the first ever symphony to incorporate voices, the lyrics mostly come from schillers “Ode an die Freude” and the melody itself has been the european anthem since 1972 (1985 if you insist on EU).

Ok so lets have a quick look at the lyrics(and i really mean quick, these are my notes from this morning, not exactly coherent but enough to get a general idea of my feelings about this, we’ll get into more detail later) i also put both the english and german version bc i felt at some points things got lost in translation, but honestly i dont know what to do about that so yeah, if you speak german, good for you, if not and by the end if this youre not bored to death and still have questions dont hesitate to ask i will awkwardly but gladly try to elaborate (this applies not only to lyrics btw)

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!


Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen,


und freudenvollere.

/

Oh friends, not these sounds!


Let us instead strike up more pleasing


and more joyful ones!

(Literally lets have happier stories, also the score.. yes lets get the johnlock theme back,please)

Freude!
Freude! / Joy!
Joy!

Freude, schöner Götterfunken


Tochter aus Elysium,


Wir betreten feuertrunken,


Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!


Deine Zauber binden wieder


Was die Mode streng geteilt;


Alle Menschen werden Brüder,


Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

/ Joy, beautiful spark of divinity,


Daughter from Elysium, 

 
We enter, burning with fervour,             (Cant set the heart on fire if its

 
heavenly being, your sanctuary!              already burning w/ love, yall)


Your magic brings together 


what custom has sternly divided.               (Gayyyy!!!!!)


All men shall become brothers,           (Secret brothers,reunion…)


wherever your gentle wings hover.      

(Idk, mrs hudson is an angel?)

/

Wem der große Wurf gelungen,


Eines Freundes Freund zu sein;

 
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,


Mische seinen Jubel ein!


Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele


Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund

!
Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle


Weinend sich aus diesem Bund!

/

Whoever has been lucky enough.         (Luckiest man in the world,


to become a friend to a friend,                 my only friend, … ) 

 Whoever has found a beloved wife,


let him join our songs of praise!               (Uh….how bout no?)


Yes, and anyone who can call one soul


his own on this earth!                                       (My john…..)


Any who cannot,

let them slink away
from this gathering in tears!   (Mary crying,then disappearing)

/

Freude trinken alle Wesen


An den Brüsten der Natur;


Alle Guten, alle Bösen


Folgen ihrer Rosenspur

.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,


Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;*

(Like.. sherlock died and
 came back for john what more proof??)

 Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,

 
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. 

Every creature drinks in joy


at nature’s breast;


Good and Bad alike


follow her trail of roses.                  (Good and bad, rosie, hmmmm)


She gives us kisses and wine,


a true friend, even in death;              (Or only in death?hey mary)


Even the worm was given desire,     (Mycroft? Nah,probs moriarty)


and the cherub stands before God.    (Sherlock, my lil cherub)

/

Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen

Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,

 (Plans…ominous)


Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,

 
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.

Gladly, just as His suns hurtle


through the glorious universe,


So you, brothers, should run your course,             (the way it was always


joyfully, like a conquering hero.                                  meant to be…..) 

/

Seid umschlungen, Millionen!


Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt!


Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt


Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen.


Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?


Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?


Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt!


Über Sternen muß er wohnen.

/

Be embraced, you millions!


This kiss is for the whole world!             (,!!???? Like???????Yes pls)


Brothers, above the canopy of stars


must dwell a loving father.                                (Or two? Hey dads)


Do you bow down before Him, you millions?


Do you sense your Creator, o world?


Seek Him above the canopy of stars!


He must dwell beyond the stars.

Well that was……….. kinda gay. Yeah yeah i know its just a queer reading no i dont believe it was intended to be gay by either beethoven or schiller (or was it?? Irdk) but. in the context of the show. which is rather what were looking at. Pretty damn gay, right?

Ok lets have a look at my absolute favourite lines first:

Your magic brings together/what custom has sternly divided.

Well… i think we can all agree that society has, quite sternly indeed, divided holmes and watson, romantically. Homosexuality just simply wasnt a custom, or at least very frowned upon, mildly speaking. It is rather magical to watch this wrong being righted though, i should think. More specifically in bbc sherlock, the divide has come through a custom of not speaking to each other, and guess what?? Yeah hudders is friggin done with that bs these two are talking now!

And then…

Be embraced, you millions!/This kiss is for the whole world!

*shrieking* do i? Do i really need to talk about this? I think not. This just…. yeah. I mean really….. I would like to add at this point that, at least to my ears, embraced sounds like a rather tame option of translation. “Umschlungen”, to me personally conveys a certain vigour, almost as if the embrace might… idk.. come as a surprise to some extend? Take the air from some peoples lungs? Yeah dunno what that could be about……

If you still need more i guess i could just blubber some more about it all but tbh what is structure? so yeah, here we go, feel free to leave anytime i mean its already pretty gay and hurts my heart i wont blame you if you think 

•WE ARE NOW ENTERING THE REALM OF JOY… yep thats happening things are getting happy, please, god, let them actually. And this joy that we will feel when John and Sherlock ( finally) get together will mend all the wrong thats been done to those two, and us Holmes fans, during all these years of being kept apart by society and norms and customs, homophobia and heteronormativity. Were entering a sanctuary, we are literally save here!

•General message of schiller’s ode to joy is literally that HUMAN CONNECTIONS ARE THE CROWN OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE like wow yes thank you it is as if human connections were the stuff that…completes you as a human being. Say what? 

•Not only is this true for johnlock but also for our entire community, were bound together by the joy of this show, our joy will mend what heteronormativty destroyed, the joy of their kiss will unite us, we will embrace it and the joyfull gayness will embrace us! 

 •The fact that its literally such a groundbreaking piece of music. There have been symphonies over and over but this is new, this is different, he incorporated voices. Groundbreaking,earthshattering… u get it. Seriously if anyone who has even a slither of a clue about music wants to educate me on what the inclusion of voices could stand for please im begging enlighten me my brains too fried im already struggling to get this done(as you might be able to tell. I am so sorry)

 And now, onto some more shit i stumbled upon in the original poem that, sadly, didnt make it into the song but: 

•Have patience for a better world to come, god(mofftiss) is good and will give you what you deserve

•Forget hatred and revenge, forgive your (arch)enemy who shall not have to cry or be rueful (ahem mary. Also possibly mycroft to some extent who knows whats gonna happen) 

•Bravery even in agony,help where innocence is weeping (hi john) 

•Something about oaths and telling the truth to your friends as well as enemies and how lies will bring everything down…… 

•Narrowing the circle, making oaths with wine and staying faithful(keep believing!!) 

•Salvation from tyranns, hope to the dying, mercy in council, forgiving of sins and ENDING HELL well ok then yes to all! 

 No honestly theres a lot and im horrifically underqualified and have a headache so i’ll stop now. If you actually read this whole mess of a thing.. thank you. Bless your soul. I’ll make you an origami elephant or something